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Life of AnorexiaI starve myself,
for the desire to be thinner.
I have lost so much weight,
but my mind tells me a different story.
I have the desire for perfection,
in hopes someone will love me.
I am not perfect,
nor am I beautiful.
I lose more weight,
for the desire of perfectionist.
But my mind tells me to keep going,
I become thinner then normal.
Food makes me sick,
I feel unworthy, hopeless, a failure.
Maybe if I lose more weight,
I will feel beautiful, secure, and hopeful.
This is the thoughts I crave,
the memories i receive.
The desire for perfection,
is what my mind tells me everyday.
My SaviorBefore I met you,
I was alone in this darkness.
Of feeling so helpless,
nobody to love.
You came to my rescue,
the savior that saved my life.
You have always been there for me,
when I have the need to give this life up.
You have saved me from the worse,
shown me how to grow stronger.
You have always been there,
from the moment we first met.
I never knew I would be loved,
I was always alone.
But you came to my rescue.
You are the savior in my Life
I knew it was LoveThe first time we met,
I knew that it was love.
Even though you are far away,
there was a connection between You and I.
For the first time in awhile,
I knew this was more then lust.
You showed me the love I needed,
and taught me how to trust someone.
You never broken my heart,
you were always sincere to me.
For the first time in a long while,
I knew there was happiness for once.
You are the love of my life,
I knew my dream finally came true.
The moment you became mine,
was the best day of my Life
Major DepressionNo one can love me in life,
when I can not feel what is there.
No one can be a friend to me,
as I can't find a way to be happy with myself.
Life has never been a friend of mine,
I fight this battle of depression.
But only gotten further in the hole.
Why can I ever win for once?
I suffer with agony,
anxiety attacks and flashbacks.
Why can't i ever win this fight,
its tearing me apart.
I can't be loved, when I dont love myself.
I dont have a friend, I am lost alone in darkness.
One day life will take me away,
and that is when I finally smile.
Flying free into the sky,
where freedom has led me elsewhere.
I can't battle this depression any longer,
maybe soon I will finally leave for good..
FlashbacksI see visions of your touch,
the way you hurt me physically.
I see the touch of hate,
how you ruined my life.
The emotional pain I feel,
the day I have been hurt.
By the one I actually loved,
who has hated me all along.
These flashbacks keep coming,
of that day you took advantage of me.
The touch of your hands,
against my sensitive body.
You made me full of hurt,
broken my heart in pieces.
I wish I never felt it,
the pain that makes me afraid.
These flashbacks never stop,
that day you left me with tears.
The moment you said you hated me,
and used me all the time.
I feel pain,
worthless, a failure.
You never cared at all,
but treated me like garbage.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More